Today is Father's Day, and Dad is on everyone's mind.
I can't really relate to Mothers and their female offspring, but I can speak a word or two about fathers and sons.
My dad wasn't really a touchy-feely kinda guy. Save for WWII and the GI Bill, I doubt my father would have ever seen the inside of a college classroom. He was raised on a farm deep in the mountains, the second set of offspring from my grandfather's second wife. From what I understand talking with my aunts and uncles, Grandpaw Whitson was a ruthless disciplinarian with little time for shenanigans. Pop loved him, but decided to strike out on his own at an early age.
After leaving home for the Baltimore shipyards, he enlisted in the Army and served in the Field Artillery. Home from occupation duties, he made his way to East Tennessee State University and studied History and Physical Education.
Pop didn't have much of an affectionate way with kids. He kinda thought his lot was to make sure we didn't grow up hoodlums. His place in our family was along the lines of Judge and Jury, with swift justice being the main reason for his existence. If we ever needed soft guidance in matters of the heart or world that was up to mom.
The worst thing you could hear in our home was "Wait til Dad gets home". Those words instilled more fear on my brothers and I than about anything else you could hear. I'm not quite sure "grounding" had even been invented yet, because we usually saw whippings.
Pop wasn't without an occasional soft side. He loved to share his knowledge of cars, carpentry, and lawn care though we usually didn't see that as much more than another set of chores to complete. I will have to say that I couldn't hammer a nail straight or saw a board in half if I hadn't been cajoled into helping him with some of the literally hundreds of home improvement projects he oversaw over the years. Anything I know about car trading and haggling came from watching him shave a hundred bucks from a car salesman, or fifty cents from someone at a yard sale.
Pop was pretty vocal about our various career choices; he didn't care for any of ours. I think he was just wanting us to get a little bit farther than he did. His candidness about how we'd turn out was just as full of truth though we couldn't see it at the time. One brother of mine died penniless and in poor health, the other saw his money dwindle down before he drank himself to death. I'm still a "work in progress" so we'll have to see if I wind up in the poor house.
I never quite understood my father. He spent over 30 years working at a job he hated, while I work at something that will never get me rich, but I enjoy doing.
I spent a good deal of my life at odds with my father. It took the birth of my own son to bring us closer together. Seeing them interact and play on visits warmed my heart to him, and actually got through my thick skull that for all the imperfections our children and parents may have, we love them just the same. It also opened my eyes to fact that as a father, it is realy important to hear "I love you" every once in awhile.
I'm really glad I got to say those words to pop before he passed away.
Yeah Pop, I do love you.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Fitness at 47; He Ain't What He Used To Be.
47 came and went last Monday along with lots of hugs and kisses from my family and well wishes from my friends.
I've been thinking a lot lately about my health in general. Maybe it's a touch of middle-age crazy, maybe the cancer scare but I reflect on my life 5 years ago and can hardly believe the shape I've let myself slip into.
I never was much of a fitness nut growing up. My father was a coach, so naturally I rebelled by being an indoor kid. I was chunky all through school and the first 3 semesters of college, then got a job as a paramedic and my first boss said "you're on 90 days probation. If I don't see serious effort at weight loss you're outta here." I'd fought for that job, and traded in McDonald's for Lean Cuisine. Started jogging to burn calories and didn't take me the 90 days to slim down about 50 pounds.
It doesn't seem like that long ago I was regularly bicycling to work and taking a 15 mile detour just to get a solid workout in. Getting up at 5:15 so I could be the first person on the StairMaster was a daily occurrence, and I remember walking in again (for the second time that day) 7:30 PM one evening and heard one of the fitness trainers point at me and whisper "hardcore" to one of his colleagues.
I decided to start hiking because I was getting bored doing an entire hour on the climber without any change of scenery. I started with regular trips to Stone Mountain State Park above Elkin, then day trips to mountain trails in the western part of the state. Within 2 years, I'd joined a group and we spent an entire week hiking, including a climb to the top of Long's Peak. The Long's Peak climb started at 1AM, and we hiked through the night to get above the treeline. We summitted at about 11AM and didn't get back to the car before about 4 in the afternoon, then showered and went out for a celebratory beer and steak dinner. I amazed the other guys by being up at 6:30 the next day and taking a 5 mile run before we went into town.
A number of issues conspired to get me off track physically. My brother died in 2003 and I lost a good deal of desire then. My father's death, and then a difficult separation drove the final nails in the coffin of my program.
I kept my Y membership for a couple of years after I quit going. I'd try to start again every couple months or so, but somehow the drive had left me. I remember how embarrassed I was when I stopped by 70 pounds overweight and turned in my card. Likewise, selling my bicycle at a yard sale when we cleaned out our home for sale brought a measure of sadness.
I ate a good meal for my birthday; the last "good" meal I've had since. I've decided I've got one good fitness odyssey left in me. Today marks completion of my 4th day on the Couch-2-5K program on my iPhone. As painful as it is, I step on the scales every morning when I shower and mark it down. Every morsel of food has been measured and logged as to calories, fat grams, and carbohydrates. So far, I'm a walking sore but I find that sleep is coming easier and energy more plentiful. I have found that the recovery time at 47 is significantly more than it was at 40.
As long as the Naprosyn holds out, I'm gonna stick with it.
I've been thinking a lot lately about my health in general. Maybe it's a touch of middle-age crazy, maybe the cancer scare but I reflect on my life 5 years ago and can hardly believe the shape I've let myself slip into.
I never was much of a fitness nut growing up. My father was a coach, so naturally I rebelled by being an indoor kid. I was chunky all through school and the first 3 semesters of college, then got a job as a paramedic and my first boss said "you're on 90 days probation. If I don't see serious effort at weight loss you're outta here." I'd fought for that job, and traded in McDonald's for Lean Cuisine. Started jogging to burn calories and didn't take me the 90 days to slim down about 50 pounds.
It doesn't seem like that long ago I was regularly bicycling to work and taking a 15 mile detour just to get a solid workout in. Getting up at 5:15 so I could be the first person on the StairMaster was a daily occurrence, and I remember walking in again (for the second time that day) 7:30 PM one evening and heard one of the fitness trainers point at me and whisper "hardcore" to one of his colleagues.
I decided to start hiking because I was getting bored doing an entire hour on the climber without any change of scenery. I started with regular trips to Stone Mountain State Park above Elkin, then day trips to mountain trails in the western part of the state. Within 2 years, I'd joined a group and we spent an entire week hiking, including a climb to the top of Long's Peak. The Long's Peak climb started at 1AM, and we hiked through the night to get above the treeline. We summitted at about 11AM and didn't get back to the car before about 4 in the afternoon, then showered and went out for a celebratory beer and steak dinner. I amazed the other guys by being up at 6:30 the next day and taking a 5 mile run before we went into town.
A number of issues conspired to get me off track physically. My brother died in 2003 and I lost a good deal of desire then. My father's death, and then a difficult separation drove the final nails in the coffin of my program.
I kept my Y membership for a couple of years after I quit going. I'd try to start again every couple months or so, but somehow the drive had left me. I remember how embarrassed I was when I stopped by 70 pounds overweight and turned in my card. Likewise, selling my bicycle at a yard sale when we cleaned out our home for sale brought a measure of sadness.
I ate a good meal for my birthday; the last "good" meal I've had since. I've decided I've got one good fitness odyssey left in me. Today marks completion of my 4th day on the Couch-2-5K program on my iPhone. As painful as it is, I step on the scales every morning when I shower and mark it down. Every morsel of food has been measured and logged as to calories, fat grams, and carbohydrates. So far, I'm a walking sore but I find that sleep is coming easier and energy more plentiful. I have found that the recovery time at 47 is significantly more than it was at 40.
As long as the Naprosyn holds out, I'm gonna stick with it.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Graduation: The Morning of Your Life
Graduation morning at Davie County High School. Up at 7 for a 930 start time.
Katie, my girlfriends daughter will walk across the stage about 90 minutes from now.
I expect we'll hear all the usual cliche's about endings and begginings. Having lived with Jeannie these last few weeks leading up I can tell you that these same cliches apply to parents as well.
Contrary to what's in a parents heart, we don't raise our children to be with us forever. We get a precious few years to enjoy them before they make their own way in the world. They start to pull away from us in their teens as they try to find their identity. I think this is Nature's way of weaning us from them; not the other way around.
There is certainly a lot of excitement around us as we wait. You'd be hard pressed to find a single parent not beaming with pride.
My own high school graduation was held at night. I think it's fitting that this one is held in the morning as these young folks are in the "morning" of their lives. One of the best summers of my life was the summer between high school and college. There was just enough adulthood to feel independent and just enough youth to be relatively free of responsibility. As time goes on, this balance will shift and by the time you're my age the weight of responsibility will be quite burdensome.
Katie has a good head on her shoulders. She's had a plan for a couple of years now and will be leaving us for nursing school at the end of August.
We're very proud of her.
Peace until later. Tim
Katie, my girlfriends daughter will walk across the stage about 90 minutes from now.
I expect we'll hear all the usual cliche's about endings and begginings. Having lived with Jeannie these last few weeks leading up I can tell you that these same cliches apply to parents as well.
Contrary to what's in a parents heart, we don't raise our children to be with us forever. We get a precious few years to enjoy them before they make their own way in the world. They start to pull away from us in their teens as they try to find their identity. I think this is Nature's way of weaning us from them; not the other way around.
There is certainly a lot of excitement around us as we wait. You'd be hard pressed to find a single parent not beaming with pride.
My own high school graduation was held at night. I think it's fitting that this one is held in the morning as these young folks are in the "morning" of their lives. One of the best summers of my life was the summer between high school and college. There was just enough adulthood to feel independent and just enough youth to be relatively free of responsibility. As time goes on, this balance will shift and by the time you're my age the weight of responsibility will be quite burdensome.
Katie has a good head on her shoulders. She's had a plan for a couple of years now and will be leaving us for nursing school at the end of August.
We're very proud of her.
Peace until later. Tim
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Spiritual but not religious...just what does that mean?
I read an interesting article on CNN today.
Many folks on FB list their Religious View as being "spiritual but not religious".
I guess you'd add me to that group, although I say "Christian" on my various profiles. Here's my take on Religion versus spirituality.
First off, I think most Religions are man-made. Groups of folks got together and decided how to worship their deity. Typically, some early leaders who probably were a bit more eloquent in their speech and writings were able to persuade others to follow them in their own interpretations of ancient texts. This continues today, as various denominations actually get together and vote on their particular take on either the Bible, or Koran, or whatever physical record exists of Buddhism, Shintoism, Hinduism or other belief system.
Many times, the persuasiveness of the supposed scholar can lead to perversion of any said text. Fundamental Islamists believe quite differently than the average Muslim. The Catholic Church believes quite differently from most forms of Protestantism. Some groups who embrace Christianity (the KKK for example) focus on mere "sound bites" from the Bible instead of the whole picture. Daivd Koresch, Jim Jones, and Fred Phelps were able to persuade groups of folks that their views held some "special" ordained righteousness.
Throughout history, Kings, Popes, and others have decided what "The Bible" should be. Some books accepted by earlier Christians were kept in while others were kept out.
Here's my take. We are all gifted with an inherent sense of what is right and what is wrong. It's called a conscience. It is up to us to seek a personal relationship with a higher power as we define it (mine is Jesus Christ) through prayer. Without that constant contact through prayer, we will stray from the spiritual path we should follow.
I believe it is good to seek fellowship with others to keep us strong spiritually. I also believe most of all that it is that personal relationship that guides us through the day-to-day trials we face.
I think when seeking fellowship with others, it is equally important to keep both an open mind on spiritual matters, yet also a discerning eye and praying for individual guidance. Christ himself said in the end times there would be many false prophets.
Many folks on FB list their Religious View as being "spiritual but not religious".
I guess you'd add me to that group, although I say "Christian" on my various profiles. Here's my take on Religion versus spirituality.
First off, I think most Religions are man-made. Groups of folks got together and decided how to worship their deity. Typically, some early leaders who probably were a bit more eloquent in their speech and writings were able to persuade others to follow them in their own interpretations of ancient texts. This continues today, as various denominations actually get together and vote on their particular take on either the Bible, or Koran, or whatever physical record exists of Buddhism, Shintoism, Hinduism or other belief system.
Many times, the persuasiveness of the supposed scholar can lead to perversion of any said text. Fundamental Islamists believe quite differently than the average Muslim. The Catholic Church believes quite differently from most forms of Protestantism. Some groups who embrace Christianity (the KKK for example) focus on mere "sound bites" from the Bible instead of the whole picture. Daivd Koresch, Jim Jones, and Fred Phelps were able to persuade groups of folks that their views held some "special" ordained righteousness.
Throughout history, Kings, Popes, and others have decided what "The Bible" should be. Some books accepted by earlier Christians were kept in while others were kept out.
Here's my take. We are all gifted with an inherent sense of what is right and what is wrong. It's called a conscience. It is up to us to seek a personal relationship with a higher power as we define it (mine is Jesus Christ) through prayer. Without that constant contact through prayer, we will stray from the spiritual path we should follow.
I believe it is good to seek fellowship with others to keep us strong spiritually. I also believe most of all that it is that personal relationship that guides us through the day-to-day trials we face.
I think when seeking fellowship with others, it is equally important to keep both an open mind on spiritual matters, yet also a discerning eye and praying for individual guidance. Christ himself said in the end times there would be many false prophets.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
